Jake Miller

this is jake. Jake is jake. Jake is not complete. I will birth him later. -Jakes mother, Sussana Oticulous VII

Origin
Jake Miller XXXV of sascatuan, canada was a subject of advanced canadian space technology and cloneing. Soon he became self aware and maneged to escape canadia. Being chased by moutaineer monks he ran for a long ass time. First hours, weeks years. He ran with out clothes, food or guzzoline. Its amazing how he survived considering he is a human clone. Eventually he found himself in michigan where he settled in the city we know as detroit (official name by the galatic council: Rachet City Beta 7291-D). But he could not fit in because he was too white... Thats rasist, uhh. He was tooooo...... Pedophillic? Lets go with that untill i think of something better. The FBI was notified on March 7 1977 that jake resided in detroit. Jakes meth dealer Pookie told jake to flee so he ran west untill he reached the rural city of estes park. "No one will ever find me here" thought jake. He took on the identity of a school child and is the man we know to this day. And thats how equestria was made!

A theory of how Jesse and Jake became awsome.
The story of how jesse and Jake came to be...

Jake and Jesse were enjoying movies at jesses house. It was time for popcorn so Jake put some into the microwave. At that very moment in the attic directly above, a rogue scientist was doing tests on radioactive ants knocks over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawls down one floor and miraculously lands undetected. It viciously bites our soon-to-be superhero Jesse. He screams in pain, in a split-second, both men find themselves in a freefall through time and space, that sends them squarely through the roof of an acid factory, and into a vat of acid that is tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying the two blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year, precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposes our heroes to highly toxic radium gases. Then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds move in, zapping both men with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, causes a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle two-thousand miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flies to Jake and Jesse's exact location, and, powered by super gamma energy currents, flys them to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clips the top of a Pingas cereal billboard, flinging the two back to their apartment miraculously unharmed.

"Hey, the popcorns ready!" Yelled jesse. And they proceed with movie night eating slightly overcooked popcorn. Then, suddelnly, the reaction of eating slightly over cooked popcorn causes a gamma radiation wave...this tuns them into the heros we now know today.