Jesse Conejo

Origin
Jesse Aguilera Conejo (In african, Retarded bugs bunny) was born from the womb of a Venusien slime sloth and a bactiria on a meteor orbiting a black hole 151 years ago. However, because he was orbiting a black hole, time was scewed up big time, and he stayed as a baby for 151 years. Until a giant magical donut hole with wings knocked him out of orbit and he landed on a place called Earth. He is here to this day.

A theory of how Jesse and Jake became awsome.
The story of how jesse and Jake came to be...

Jake and Jesse were enjoying movies at jesses house. It was time for popcorn so Jake put some into the microwave. At that very moment in the attic directly above, a rogue scientist was doing tests on radioactive ants knocks over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawls down one floor and miraculously lands undetected. It viciously bites our soon-to-be superhero Jesse. He screams in pain, in a split-second, both men find themselves in a freefall through time and space, that sends them squarely through the roof of an acid factory, and into a vat of acid that is tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying the two blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year, precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposes our heroes to highly toxic radium gases. Then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds move in, zapping both men with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, causes a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle two-thousand miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flies to Jake and Jesse's exact location, and, powered by super gamma energy currents, flys them to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clips the top of a Pingas cereal billboard, flinging the two back to their apartment miraculously unharmed.

"Hey, the popcorns ready!" Yelled jesse. And they proceed with movie night eating slightly overcooked popcorn. Then, suddelnly, the reaction of eating slightly over cooked popcorn causes a gamma radiation wave...this tuns them into the heros we now know today.